? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
