I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just had sex on a roof
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
