ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize