The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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