I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I need water and some morals
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
