Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize