just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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