I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
