you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
