that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
