you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
