Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
