Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I am one with the molecules
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
