Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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