do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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