Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's always time for handjobs
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
