What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize