I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney