is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
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i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.