I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality