I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.