If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
