two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
