let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
