I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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