Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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