look no pants
where am i from again
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
