I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
