Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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