It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize