the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
