Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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