I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
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I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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