fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
