Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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