Moan for me like Helen Keller
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.