i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
nutella sex= disaster
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Reggie can tackle my bush.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing