Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.