dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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