WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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