she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
