I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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