Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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