And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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