I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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