I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
