i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
