Its about making memories worth repressing
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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