So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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