My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I have aggressive nipples.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
