i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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