I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
