i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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