we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
