the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
