you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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