just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
