we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
