The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
When did we convert life to cartoon?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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