8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
