i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
