i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
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