Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's official drugs can't kill me
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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