Too much gin, very little bucket
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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