And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
